ROCK AND READ vol. 83 - Tora Interview

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Despite being rushed to the hospital last November due to a heart attack, he made his recovery at incredible speed. Now, as if nothing had even happened at all, Tora is energetically carrying out activities for A9’s tumultuous 15 year anniversary. Although in the previous issue, Hiroto had reported on Tora’s condition, we asked the man himself about the sequence of events and his current condition. “Nothing has changed. I only just lost a little weight”. Not even changing a little, the blunt but charming Tora sat down to talk to us.

It seems like today’s photoshoot ended earlier than the scheduled time.

Tora: The photoshoot was over in 30 minutes. No matter what you make me do, I’m fast (laughs). The cameraman (Susumu Miyawaki) who did the photoshoot today is someone that I have often worked with, so even before the photos are taken, you can pretty much tell how the photos will turn out if you imagine it.

That said, I hope you will talk to us about many things in the interview. This is our first time meeting since you had a heart attack. First of all, I would like to ask about what your thoughts were, to be suddenly struck with illness, how you processed the illness, and about any mental and physical changes you’ve had.

Tora: Umm. Nothing has changed (laughs). The heart is actually something that’s not understood. You just suddenly get these spasms, and after the event, it’s not like there are any traces of if left behind. Even now, it has no effect on my life.

Oh. I’m relieved just hearing that.

Tora: The reason why it happened wasn’t because my blood vessels were blocked. But I did have a heart attack. Just looking at the data, like electrocardiograms, I did have a heart attack, but it’s not as if my blood vessels are blocked now. It seems like I got a spasm and it was possible that the blood vessels did get blocked, but there were not parts that were blocked. So even though I did have surgery, they didn’t do anything like inflate my blood vessels with a balloon. When they inserted a catheter, I didn’t have any blocked blood vessels. The results of the diagnosis showed that there were some parts that weren’t working well, so that’s probably why I got a heart attack. I don’t know much about hearts (laughs), but the reason why that happens is apparently something unexpected like stress. Apparently, the cause for it can be stress on the same level as an earthquake.

I’m surprised, since it’s so unexpected that you would be under that much stress.

Tora: That’s what the doctor told me. They asked me, “Has anything happened in your life lately?”. Because it can happen in that way too.

So heavy stress can also cause heart attacks.

Tora: Yeah. So that’s why at first, when I was discharged from the hospital, I was careful with what I was eating. When you have a heart attack, there’s this thick rulebook that you get at the hospital, and it’s really difficult to stick to the rules when you’re young. So while being as close to the line as possible, lately, I’ve come to think that there’s no point in me worrying about it so much. If my blood vessels were blocked, then I would have to completely stick by the rules. But I realized that sticking to the rules would put me under a lot of stress.

And the doctor said that cause was probably stress.

Tora: So I’m moderating myself.

What about the alcohol and cigarettes that you love?

Tora: I quit.

Do you move around and exercise?

Tora: At first, I would go for walks, but only at first. I kept doing it for about 2 months and then I got bored (laughs).

What?!

Tora: I bought a treadmill, and I use it quite a lot at home. Because it’s a pain in the ass to go outside. Apart from this, the only thing that has changed is that for my meals, I don’t eat rice and only eat side dishes.

Has your weight also changed?

Tora: I only just lost a little weight. Because you won’t lose a huge amount of weight just by limiting what you eat and walking. Oh right, I’m not supposed to run. The doctor told me to not overwork my heart. After being admitted to the hospital and having surgery, there was rehabilitation. At first, you can’t get up from bed normally, because that requires putting strain on your heart. It doesn’t make sense, right? After spending a day in rehabilitation, I was finally able to sit up in bed. After completing rehabilitation to be able to sit up in bed, there was rehabilitation on how to stand up. Doing that everyday made me think “This is a pain in the ass”.

To work at it slowly so that you don’t put any burden on your heart.

Tora: Yeah. After finished that rehabilitation, on the last day, I was finally able to shower. I was able to do this after about a week, but you also can’t shower, but it puts a burden on your heart. After getting out of bed, I could only walk about 50 steps or something. Since I had to do rehabilitation from that level, it was a pain in the ass. I even asked “Is it okay to walk now?”.

I can kind of imagine that (laughs). What kind of symptoms did you have before being admitted to hospital? According to what we heard from Hiroto, you had 2 attacks.

Tora: That’s right. If the first thing I had was diagnosed to be a heart attack, then I had 2. At first, my back really hurt. It was really painful, but I was like “Someone, massage my back”. That was the first attack.

Did you get those symptoms during rehearsals before a live on the 2-man tour with vistlip?

Tora: Yeah. Thinking about it now, even before that, there were times where my chest was in pain. In terms of symptoms, I had something similar to esophagitis​. Including where it felt like something was stuck in my throat, I think perhaps I’ve also had attacks many times in the past. Only when I look back, though. But when it actually happened, it was quite painful. When it happened the first time, I even said “Crap, oh crap”. It was during rehearsal, and I was writhing about on stage. I felt the pain in my left arm, back, and face, and no matter what I did, my body was in pain. Since getting the symptoms in my back, it’s like the pain gets even worse from there. I want to tell people that if at first, if you’re just like “My chest feels tight” but then your back starts to hurt, go to the hospital right away. When your back starts to hurt, it’s a sign that things are getting bad.

With the first attack, did you just deal with the pain the whole time?

Tora: That’s right. The pain got worse and worse, and I was so out of breath to the point I drooling. Since it feels similar to throwing up, people go to the toilet, but there is nothing to throw up. I drank water and threw up, but I didn’t feel better afterwards. Up until now, I’ve gotten plenty of hangovers, and it’s kind of similar to the pain you get when you’ve got a hangover. But it was impossible, since it happened in the evening. Even if I were to have gone drinking the day before, in terms of the time, getting the hangover during the evening on the next day is strange…… That’s what I thought as I was dealing with the pain. Then the symptoms calmed down.

That’s how it happened?

Tora: Yeah. I felt much more at ease after that.

How did you recover?

Tora: All I did was bear with the pain. It’s a battle against time. As I was bearing with it, it was like water passing through me, where the pain suddenly just receded and went away. To the point it would surprise you.

So after the first attack, you were able to play the live show as planned. So nothing happened with your body even after doing the live show?

Tora: That’s right. So when the second attack came, since I managed to keep it under control the first time, I bore the pain. With the first attack, after about 15 minutes of dealing with the pain, things calmed down, but with the second time, it took about an hour.

Where did the second attack happen?

Tora: At home. I wondered whether to call an ambulance or not, but I thought I would be fine since things calmed down the first time. The second attack happened at night. The hospitals aren’t open at 9p.m., and don’t you feel kind of iffy about calling an ambulance to your house? So I didn’t call an ambulance. So I dealt with the pain and the attack calmed down, but I ended staying up until morning, so I googled my symptoms.

And when you did that?

Tora: The only thing that fit was a heart attack. That was the only thing, when you have chest pain, feel like throwing up, your back starts hurting, your left arm gets numb, and your teeth hurt. It said that if these symptoms last for 1 hour, it’s bad news, so I was like “I guess I’ll go to the hospital”, and in the morning, I walked to the hospital. When I took an electrocardiogram there, the small hospital put me in an ambulance right away and took me to a large hospital. They told me “You’re not supposed to walk or you’ll die”.

Meaning you were in quite a dangerous situation?

Tora: Yes. When they looked at the electrocardiogram, they said “At this rate, you have a high chance of dying”. I was like “For real!?” (laughs). “This is not the time for laughter”. When they took my blood pressure, it was 170mmHg. Since the maximum was 180mmHg, the small hospital threatened me, like “We might have to put something in your heart”. After they transported me to the bigger hospital, they immediately moved me to the operating table and put a catheter in me. But in the end, my blood vessels weren’t blocked. Even at the bigger hospital, they said “Your blood vessels aren’t blocked, but it showed up on the electrocardiogram”. It was a heart attack, but since my blood vessels weren’t blocked, they diagnosed it as a spasm.

What were you thinking at the time?

Tora: I wasn’t thinking anything. In any case, having a tube up my urethra really hurt (laughs). That was the first thing they did when they moved me to the operating table, and it hurt like hell and was painful! When I had a catheter, I was confined to my bed for 24 hours. I could only sleep lying on my back, and I wasn’t even allowed to drink water. That was more painful for me. Putting aside the illness, the toughest thing was the reality that I had to do this kind of thing. It was a pain in the ass. That was tough.

So what happened after those 24 hours?

Tora: The next day, I was finally about to sit up in bed, and I started doing this rehabilitation to sit up. It took me a week to walk. It was hell, not being able to walk properly for a week.

What did you do when you were stuck in bed at the hospital?

Tora: Since being able to sit up, I played games. I had someone bring me a PlayStation. You can connect it to the monitor in the hospital! The doctors and nurses were shocked I did that. Like “So you can play the PlayStation here” (laughs). That was all I could do. And the hospital I went to was full of old people, like grandpas. Until I was moved there, I was first in the ICU.

For the 24 hours you had a catheter.

Tora: Yes. With the ICU being the ICU, it was full of people with critical conditions who were rushed there, so the nurse said to me “It’s crazy that you are in the ICU at this age. You’re too young”.

The nurse in the ICU spoke to you in a casual manner.

Tora: That’s because I did too. Everyone was young, even the doctors. Even one of the doctors used to be in a Visual-kei band. When they asked me if I was in a band and I said yes, they said to me “I also used to be in a Visual-kei band”. Some of the nurses even know A9, so what was tough for me was to give people an autograph with a tube shoved up my XXX (laughs).

Then they moved you to the general ward. How did your parents react when you were admitted to hospital? They must have been quite surprised.

Tora: Not really. My family is also casual, so they happily came to the hospital, saying that since I got ill, they were able to spend plenty of time with me.

Did people at the hospital ask you about your tattoos?

Tora: They didn’t. At the first hospital I went to, they said to me “Big hospitals aren’t used to accepting patients with tattoos, so I don’t know how they will react”. But since there were many young people at that hospital, they were completely fine with it. Instead, they were like “Wow, tattoos!”.

You have tattoos on your upper body as well as your legs. Why did you decide to get a tattoo?

Tora: Because I wanted one.

When did you get your first tattoo?

Tora: I guess when I was around 20 years old. Our previous company was quite strict about it, so when we left the company, I just went for it.

Are you particular about what kind of tattoos to get?

Tora: I’m not. In general, I leave it to the tattoo artist, so I just tell them to tattoo whatever they want.

Is there no tattoo that you got because you wanted it?

Tora: No. Oh, but I wanted to get the tiger stripes (on his leg). I thought tiger stripes would be a little crazy. Don’t people not get this kind of tattoo? I wanted to get a tattoo where even people with tattoos would think “That’s crazy” or “I can’t imitate that”. I did think about getting one of a tiger, but I thought to get one of a tiger while doing activities under the name “Tora” is too typical and predictable. With the tattoo on my hand, I’m really close with HAKUEI (PENICILLIN), so when I said to him “Let me get a tattoo that’s like yours”, he said it was okay.  I was like “Really?! Let me take a photo of that then”, and took a photo of the butterfly tattoo on his hand. The next day, I went to go get it done. When I sent a photo of the butterfly tattoo on my hand to HAKUEI, he was kind of taken aback (laughs). He was probably half-joking.

You’re also casual in the way you get tattoos.

Tora: That’s right. I like getting tattoos like Americans or something do, like “This was cute, so I got it tattooed” or “I like the design of this t-shirt, so I’m gonna go get it tattooed”. That’s how foreigners think. That’s how I am too. That’s why I have a tattoo of a Disney character on my arm, a matching butterfly one with HAKUEI, and also a striking tiger pattern one on my leg.

Did your parents not say anything to you?

Tora: My parents are still completely against it. They tell me “Don’t get any more” and “Just please don’t get one on your face” (laughs). So I was like “Fine, I guess I’ll leave my face alone”.

I see. We’ve gone a little astray, so let’s get back on track. So we heard from Hiroto what it was like from when you were admitted to hospital to when you were discharged. It seems like you were able to finish the rehabilitation in record speed?

Tora: That’s right. I directly negotiated with the doctor, saying that I didn’t want to be in the hospital for a long period of time. The rule is that rehabilitation is 2 weeks long, but I negotiated to do mine at twice the speed.

Can you even do that?

Tora: I did (laughs). Normally, there’s also a period where you have to do rehabilitation back into society. In the rulebook, it says that you return to society after half a year, but even now, I’m working a lot.

Just until recently, you were on the Asia tour.

Tora: I’m doing activities as I normally would.

So the doctor gave you reasonable permission?

Tora: The doctor understood that I’m not a regular person, and I said that I would do it. In response, the doctor didn’t say anything, as if they were thinking “That’s right, there isn’t anyone that can cover for you”. But they did say to me “Even on stage, you should try to rest”. Because I’m not allowed to do very active sports.

Since you restarted activities during a time when you were not supposed to have returned to society, you must have thought about many things, such as what you would do if you got another heart attack, or it might be too late and you might die.

Tora: Well, I don’t really worry about it. Although there are still things that I have left to do, it’s not that I think that I don’t want to die. Although, you probably won’t be able to think about that kind of thing when death is actually staring you in the face. But I am still alive. It’s not quite like the timing, but I thought that now was not when my time was up.

Do you mean the timing of when you will die?

Tora: Yeah. And that now wasn’t the time. That’s why, even if this kind of thing were to happen to my body again, I think I would think of it as just an annoyance. Like “Not now”. It was the same thing when I hurt my neck.

Oh. You were on tour then too, and if I remember correctly, you had to cancel some shows.

Tora: That’s right. That was much more painful, in terms of the symptoms. The suffering from the hernia was hellish. I never want to it happen again. On top of that, I hate that kind of half-baked thing. Can’t anyone get a hernia? But this time, the name of my illness has the biggest impact.

Even though it was an illness, the idea that the impact is important is…

Tora: I’m a bit weird. I’ve always been weird since I was little. When people grow up, don’t they just have this impulse to become an ordinary person? And then they say really, ordinary things. That’s where I question them, like “What are you going to achieve, saying such ordinary things?”. Getting sick and following the rulebook to change to a healthy lifestyle, to wake up to an ordinary day, and live while taking care of your health. I just get this feeling that that isn’t the life for me. I’m not like this.

You live intuitively.

Tora: Yes. It’s disgusting to live like that everyday. I think that it’s not good to be this ordinary and live healthy and happy life. I think “What are you trying to achieve by trying to create ordinary happiness?”. My thoughts themselves are just different from others.

What made you think ordinary = no good when you were a child?

Tora: I don’t know. Maybe because I have a really bad personality (laugh)? I don’t hate my parents, but I feel that I don’t treat my parents in the same way everyone else does. Doesn’t everyone have these sentiments that they like their parents? I don’t have that.

What do you mean?

Tora: It’s not as though I grew up in an unhappy family, but all parents are are “not someone unrelated to you”, and in general, I look at them as any other “person”. So ever since I was a kid, I would look at what my parents were doing that think “What idiots”. I would wonder why they couldn’t do something. For example, I would wonder why they would say certain things at certain times, and if they couldn’t read the mood. Putting aside whether they are book smart or not, I would think that they were idiots. I would use that aspect of my parents. For example, if I could skillfully use that aspect of my parents, they would give me money. So I’m sort of using my parent. That’s how I treat them.

Is your brother like that too?

Tora: My younger brother listened to everything my parents said, so much to the point that until 30 years of age, he was reclusive. My mum is a full-time housewife and my dad has a proper job,so we’re the typical Showa-era family. I think that my parents are really old-fashioned.

Even in that household, you were an upbeat child and raised to have different sentiments from “ordinary people”.

Tora: That’s right. Maybe they raised a strange kid that was different from the parents.

I see. So when you were admitted to hospital and found out the name of your illness, how did the members react?

Tora: Since everyone is a grown up, they had mature responses. Like that it was good that I was still alive, and that we should all be careful. To the members, it’s not something that’s unrelated to them. Because in general we live similar lifestyles.

When Hiroto came to visit you in the hospital and gave you a present, you even took a photo of it and uploaded it to Twitter, which is rare.

Tora: I think that Hiroto really is a pervert (laughs). I bet he even knew that I would upload the picture to Twitter (laughs).

You don’t even view that normally and twist it.

Tora: That’s what it seems like to me.

To the Tora with a bad personality.

Tora: Yeah. That’s why deep down, I truly can’t be happy. Don’t get me wrong; I am happy, you know? I am happy, but there is this feeling where I have to make a post about Hiroto being such a nice guy (laughs). Saga tweeted that he was worried about me, but he didn’t come visit me. To me, it seems like a farce.

Hiroto was seriously glad that you were open and thanked him. I also heard that Saga, who couldn’t go see you because he had to do recording, asked his mother, who is a nurse, about medical knowledge, and of all the members, he researched your illness the most, including your diet after being discharged.

Tora: I know that. But deep inside of me, I thought that he wouldn’t come and see me as a grown up. We are in the same band, after all.

You wanted him to at least show his face. You must have been quite sad that Saga didn’t come to visit you (laughs). So what were you thinking when you returned to the stage for the first time after recovering?

Tora: I think that no matter what, as long as you’re alive, you have a way to express yourself. In general, I want to express myself, and even if it’s not on stage, I feel that if nothing else, I have the confidence that I can express myself. If a guy can only express himself on stage, then I think that he would be uncool, even standing on stage. No matter how it plays out, I can express something. That’s why my mind is not that of a guitarist. Lately, I’ve been into videography, and I want to express something with that. That’s probably about the only thing I want to do while I’m alive. It’s not like I want to work (laughs). In general, don’t people want to live only doing the things they like? Because what they like is not their job. I can’t do something if I think of it as work.

Have you not ever worked a part-time job?

Tora: I have, but I did it thinking it was a pain in the ass. I don’t like doing the same repetitive things.

But don’t bands also play the same songs?

Tora: At least for us, we have a lot of arrangements. In that respect, I don’t get bored.

To commemorate the band’s 15th year anniversary, the best of albums, “Kachou no Shirabe” and “Fuugetsu no Uta”, with songs chosen by the members will go on sale on April 24 (interview was done in early March). Is there quite a different arrangement compared to the original songs on the re-recorded songs?

Tora: In terms of the guitars, they’re completely different songs. Nothing is the same.

I see. Although songs will change with a different arrangement, what about the members? With Show in particular, you were in a band with him before A9. Even now, apart from A9, you’re also in the DIAWOLF unit with him. The two of you have continued to always do music activities together. What do you think of continuing to do music activities with the same members?

Tora: I think that Show can still become much more popular.

I have a memory of you saying the same thing a long time ago when I did an interview with you for the fanclub magazine.

Tora: I still feel the same way. In general, I can’t sing. Show is far more superior than me just with the 2 facts that he is cooler than me and that he can sing. It’s just something that he was born with. I think that there is no way that a person who is naturally far more superior than me couldn’t become more popular. That’s how I feel.

Show is a person who should have more of the limelight shone on him as a star from the general public and become more popular.

Tora: Is what I think. I feel bad because it seems like I’m looking down on him while saying it. But if he doesn’t become more popular, I think that the reason would be something else [and not something to do with Show]. There’s no way I could be wrong (laughs).

You’re really confident about it.

Tora: Because I am sure that my way of thinking is not wrong. Won’t my life not have any value if I don’t think that way? But by insisting that my way of thinking is not wrong, it means I will never do well with girls (laughs). I understand that girls will slowly start to think “This guy is crazy”. I mean, I’m not an idiot. The girl would start to think “If I keep dating this guy who says the impossible, I’ll never be happy. I just want ordinary happiness”.

When they find out that at the root of the way you live and the way you think is the idea that “normal = no good”. Do any of the members share your way of thinking?

Tora: I guess none of them do. I don’t know.

With such members who don’t share this feeling with you, what do you think is the reason that A9 was able to continue on as a band for 15 years?

Tora: That’s what I wonder! But A9 have had many life events. Even if it seems like we are doing the same things over and over, I’ve fallen into poor health, and we also suddenly changed our band name (laughs). Our band has had many troubles. These troubles have become life events for us.

What was the incident that you thought was the worst?

Tora: Uhh, I don’t know. I never thought of them as being that serious.

Really? So does that mean at the very least, you never felt any stress while doing music activities?

Tora: It’s the opposite; I’ve had nothing but stress. Every day while living my life. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve used that stress as motivation for living.

You mean like the pent up feelings you were talking about earlier about your parents, when they make you wonder why they would say certain things at certain times?

Tora: Yeah. It makes me think “Okay, then I’ll make sure I won’t turn out like them”. I find people who have long-winded talks a pain in the ass. Don’t those people who like lecturing others want to lecture people on every little detail about why they can’t do something?

Oh. That would be stressful.

Tora: To me, that’s just a waste of time. Rather than talking about that, wouldn’t it be quicker to find something that you can do?

So you’re the type who wants to live fast-paced on the shortest route. That’s why at the beginning you said that you were fast.

Tora: That’s right. I’m fast no matter what I do. I mean, can’t you tell just by imagining it? Even so, there are so many in the people in the world who can’t do this. The same applies to games, but it’s more fun when something is bothersome and you can’t clear it. Because you want to keep doing it until you can clear it. I do think that a band is also a game that you can keep playing until you clear it.

When do you “clear” a band?

Tora: I guess that would be when you think that there is nothing more left to do with this band. Whether or not the current A9 is at the maximum level, I think that we still aren’t. I do think that we’ve gone passed level 50, but we can still level up, and I feel that we’ve still not reached the final boss. So that’s why I think perhaps this band can still keep on fighting going forward. I want to keep on going until we’ve reach the maximum level and I can think that we’ve “cleared” the band. I think that this is a band where the time I can think that we’ve “cleared” will come. Rather than being able to continue and dragging it on forever, because I think that this a band where we definitely will be able to see the moment where we’ve “cleared” the band, I will keep going until that point. As long as I’m still alive.

Zdroj:https://mokkoriness.tumblr.com/post/187570841789/rock-and-read-vol-83-tora-interview/amp?fbclid=IwAR3NmdHx_4-SRUYIYYkjcbHjFgd-dKqq3NmV2VZuU8OUR_2-surcyvn1CEs