In this 20.000 character-interview we have been trying to find Gazette’s singer Ruki, moreover were we looking for the person “Ruki”, this one human being. We bring you all of this, from things that had pierced his mind ever since, things he had seen (?) and more of rather unexpected issues.
- So, all in all it is that your personal project came to be the last.
[So there is going to be a lot to talk about (laughs)]
- Yes. (laughs). This interview will feature 20.000 (Japanese) characters, so please give your best. More than the other interviews of the normal kind, I hope we can delve more into the personal side. I’d be grateful for your understanding and support.
[No, no, I, on my side am asking for your support as well.]
(At this point the attention is drawn to someone of the staff bringing spaghetti.)
[Ah, the spaghetti has arrived…]
- ahahahahaha. Please go ahead and eat. (laughs) Since I don’t want to get you too deep into any conversations while you are eating, just let me ask how you have been doing lately. (laughs)
[Ah, yes, of course. I’m sorry. (laughs) Then let’s start. ]
- ahahaha, yes, please start (eating)! (laughs)
[Oh, well, yes, I’ll do that, too.(laughs) However, (as he is arranging the mushroom neatly on the side), I can’t eat mushrooms. Really, I like Tarako-Spaghetti, but it can’t be helped when there are mushrooms in them. Ah, I’m sorry, let’s start then. (laughs)]
- Ok, so let’s start from how you have been doing lately. (laughs) Yesterday you have returned from the company journey to Hawaii, haven’t you?
[Yes, I did. I came back yesterday and went back into the studio just like that. The moment I entered the studio, I was pulled back to reality at an instant. (laughs) The other members couldn’t go since they had been in the middle of recording. However, since my part of recording was the very last and I was free to go, I thought I’d just go then. When I stay at home, I am still somewhat in the working-mode, so I went to get my head out of it.]
- Because it always keeps rushing from one to the next. It’s like you can’t even breathe the air outside. So did you get a chance to rest?
[Nope. I didn’t sleep at all.]
- Huh? Did you work nonetheless?
[No. (laughs) I did too many fun things. (laughs) I went shopping and I spent the whole time at the beach. Therefore I really didn’t sleep. (laughs)]
- ahahahaha. Well, in that case, sleep is overrated. (laughs)
[It is! As a man sows, so shall he reap. (laughs) I had a lot of fun. (laughs) It has been a long time since I only did fun things and didn’t sleep therefore. It was a constant repeating of going shopping and going to the beach and going to the beach and shopping.]
- Like that you won’t get a tan either. Well, but getting tanned isn’t that good, anyway, is it? (laughs)
[It isn’t. (laughs)]
- Aren’t you usually more of the indoor-type anyway?
[I’m the perfect indoor-type. Well, first of all, there isn’t much free time (to go outside), and when there is a day off or so, I don’t want to go outside either. When I want to sleep, I just sleep right away. It seems that becoming the indoor-type just came naturally with that. However, on Hawaii I wanted to be outside with all my will.]
- Was writing lyrics…
[(Interrupting) I didn’t!! Not at all. (laughs) On the other hand, it is good I had this resolution to not do that. Sometimes I really just need to let go of myself like that, too. This is something which under the usual circumstances I can’t seem to do anymore.]
- It seems like it. Well, so you could re-fresh yourself then.
[I did. I stayed 5 nights and during that time, I didn’t touch our music just once. The sound of the wind or the sound of the waves; all these natural sounds were completely sufficient.]
- It’s things like that, isn’t it.
[It is! (laughs)]
- However, when you came back, there was the recording, your needed presence for the raw-materials of the CD-Jacket shooting and such things in your pretty tight schedule.
[Yes there is. However, there are just things where I won’t compromise. Even if there are material shootings where I won’t need to be present, I’d rather be there anyway. I’d rather not complain afterwards about things we got made for us. It is better to complain right at the spot (where things still can be changed). Therefore, I’d just be there from the very beginning.]
- Every time?
[Yes, honestly. Whenever we shoot material for anything, I am most certainly always there. For [Guren] I have been there, too. For the shooting I even went to Hakone. Even though there had been a live the next day, I went anyway. This was really hard on my physical condition, but there are just things I can’t get myself into compromises with. For [Guren], things were still the way, that I’d go and do the designs and shootings, which makes it obligatory to be present there. I think, even if you explain everything prior to the shooting and then entrust them to someone else, it is still illogical to then complain about the outcome of things. In general it is better to properly take things to a satisfactory result by matching those things with myself and the partners.]
- I see.
[On the other hand this is causing a lot of stress, though.]
- Most certainly. This time’s photo shooting topic had been what exactly?
[The part we had been shooting in Shinjuku had the theme [DESIRE], and the overall topic was [Darkness]. As for the interview, I think it is ok, the way it is going so far, however, to match the clothes there, and how it was more like my private clothes wasn’t so good. This time though, I only conveyed how I wanted things to be dark and from there on, I left it to the designers and the camera man. I thought it was good, how I get the ideas and opinions from people who had done a lot of photo shootings already, who had done various things and who I could entrust with this (issue). On my part, this time, I really only wanted the theme to have a very dark feeling.]
- Had there been something spiritual linked to this theme?
[No. Back in the days there has been this kind of influence, but lately there really isn’t. Also, more than concentrating on the topic this time, I had been paying more attention on how to make the pictures really good. For the photo shooting it had been the same – instead of planning everything out in advance, I thought it would be good to do it with the inspiration coming from the place of the photo shooting and we were able to take a lot of good pictures. As for the camera man I am always asking Miyawaki-san, who always seems to understand the things I want to do or the things that suit me well. Lately I have come to think, that it is very interesting to just look and decide what to do at the actual place. This time, too, we did the photo shooting just like that. That’s not very binding.]
- I see.
[Somehow, lately, it seems that with this feeling a lot of interesting things can be caught in pictures like that. You’d just go and try to eventually realize how things turn out unexpectedly good and really cool.]
- However, it seems like you can’t do something like that without trusting the person, can you??
[That’s right. I think this is only possible if one can understand the feeling of the other. This can only be done, when the other knows my sensibility or the textures required and such.]
- Yes, it is. I think this is one point of being able to show a certain confidence, when you can match well with your partner (the camera man) and with the outcome of a product, one can show this certain self-esteem.
[It is certainly like that. Moreover, photographs are something big and there is this importance of tools to convey the pictures. It is the same as with sounds, there are points where there can be absolutely no compromises.]
- Yeah. Within Gazette Ruki-kun is the one responsible for the artworks and their overall initiator, also drawing himself and I think you have a strong sense for aesthetics – therefore what are the things you like about Miyawaki-san’s photographs?
[The texture. The pictures themselves, too. However, the overall standard for me to decide (whether a picture is good or not) would be the texture. It’s the same with PVs. It is absolute impossible to do it (properly) with someone, if I just feel a slight mismatch in texture there. ]
- So you like things with a certain sensation.
[I do. It’s the same with [feelings], though, as it is pretty hard to explain and likes are based on very personal reasons. There are textures which just don’t suit me. There are people who are said to be virtuosi, yet if I dislike the texture (i.e. in their works), it’s just not possible (for me to accept them as such.)]
- I see. Apart from being able to express yourself through Gazette, what would be a thing you care most about (concerning the band).
[I really don’t want to do boring things, which is the most important thing to me. For example, even if it was something the fans wish for and think that is was something Gazette should do, as soon as there is this feeling of being boring, then I really don’t want to do it. We don’t want to do things one couldn’t get excited about. There is nothing in particular which we just don’t want to do, it is also more of a feeling. Therefore, it is most important to me that we don’t do things we can’t think of wanting to do. After all, we came to change since we are together as a band. Well, more than just change, we developed, and the things we can do have increased. However, there are fans who believe, that the old days were a lot better. Be it the songs, be it the expressions, it is different from the old days. Nonetheless, we can’t go back to that. Still, as I came to say this in interviews, it seems that this thinking has become a little less. A while back I was told these things quite frequently which irritated me, but lately it has become less. Even if I am told this from time to time, I don’t worry about this so much anymore. It feels like we can live more honestly like that.]
- Well, humans do have this nagging tendency towards things they can’t have.
[It must be like that. On the other hand, when you don’t change, they tell you how they get fed up with your unchanging (nature).(laughs)]
- Yes, yes. (laughs) This is a very general point, but it is very easy to state your own opinion on existing things, I think. Even hinting this by just saying [It’s ok, even if it wasn’t like something else…] or [It would be nice if it was like that…] is much the same. However, I think it must be pretty hard on someone, to create such things out of such a deep/pure side within oneself. Even if one does understand this point to some extent, it is still very easy to form and state an opinion on existing things… … Ruki-kun is someone to create things out of this depth/pureness, but once you create something, is this more of a painful thing or more of a joyful thing?
[It’s both. When I get something done the way I wanted it to turn out, that makes me happy. In case I can’t achieve it, it’s got more of a painful taste. So it is both, like a happy-sad feeling. (laughs) I am the one who is creating his own ideal. I think it has been the same for all the artists, who are my sempais, they did it like that. Now and before, it is something I am very grateful for.]
- I understand. I think bands are different in that aspect, too. When it comes to writing lyrics and songs, there are bands, where it can be done by writing as a band member, drawing different shapes as a band as a whole or to give the band a certain shape by just writing very individually and putting this together.
[Yes, it is like that. In our case it is basically the latter. We write our melodies individually, then I would add the lyrics and from there on, we would arrange the song in a certain way. Still, this is only a rather abstract way of putting it. Within that, I am probably the one, saying the most. For example, I’d say things like [Could that be a little more red-dish?] or [Please add a slightly darker feeling] or [I’d like this to lighten up a bit.] (laughs) I’m a little unsubtle like that then. I think, since I am writing the lyrics to the songs, I would like to bring a certain atmosphere across with them, then.]
- Ruki-san seems to be the representative for all the lyrics and all the songs. You have also been the initiator for the song [Distress and Coma] an there had been an interview on the single as such in which Aoi-san said: [Within this band I am certainly the most insistent guitarist and I would like to stick to that with cool sounds. However, this time I had been on Ruki’s side of the making and put all my heart into that. I wanted to make this song completely to what Ruki had been imagining, I think.] I think this is an incredibly nice connection you have there.
[Yes, it is. However, usually in front of me, this is certainly something Aoi would never admit.]
- It seems like it. He also said, that he wouldn’t feel very comfortable to say something like that directly to you. (laughs)
[It seems like it. (laughs) Nonetheless, when playing his guitar with this in mind, it is the attitude towards making the song, which is bringing this across. That makes me really happy. I think this is a very essential part in making the music, as those who are Gazette concern themselves with how to reach a certain outcome in the song-making.]
- More than half-hearted, the way Gazette is facing its own songs is rather stoic.
[Without any influence it has become extremely stoic. (laughs) However, I think that the way we have been facing our song-making has evolved a lot. If I was to name something which has transformed our possibilities of making music in particular, there really isn’t anything, it just happened gradually. I think we changed step by step. It is something we have realized now. During the making of [Distress and Coma] it was me, who had been pouring out his ideas on the others. But in between, the others had been putting a lot of thinking into what they wanted to do and combine that with the things I would have liked the song to turn out to. It really feels like that is something that has grown to be, gradually. Therefore, as of late, this seems to be the reason, why recording has become so easy to do.]
- I see. What was it that Ruki-san as the vocalist had been thinking about during the process of changing?
[Something I had been thinking of as the vocalist? Well, I don’t really think of myself as being the vocalist, or seeing myself separated as such. Even though I am the vocalist. (laughs) This is also the same when referring to me as a professional. I don’t really see, where being professional begins in this case. Well, apart from earning money by making music, for me there is no such sensation in doing so. It does not mean, that it is improving anything really. Be it pros or indies, we are not only producing good stuff either way, we do come out with not so good things either way. The things we do are still the same. Therefore, there isn’t really any special influence in being a (so called) professional.]
- Isn’t there more pressure as a professional?
[Uhm, yeah, there is this thinking about what you would like to put into making a song, and I think taking responsibility within that, as in doing those things with a certain conviction and how you would like to properly produce songs and melodies, but apart from that there is almost no pressure. As for myself, I don’t fight against those things others around me think about it, though. In general, this is not about our surroundings, but rather about us. We think about how we can create music which will satisfy us and from there, we don’t worry about what this is within us we have to fight and we don’t worry about what others might be expecting of us. I think, this is the reason, why I still don’t feel like there is this kind of pressure. The only thing we worry about, when it comes to our surrounding would be, if we could be still regarded as a cool band. This would be the only time to remember frustration. Well, this is different from what pressure means, but wanting to be seen as such a cool band is certainly fueling us. This is something which hasn’t changed at all, neither back in the old days, nor now.]
- Is there something you feel that has changed about your lyrics?
[Basically, I don’t think they have changed. Being human hasn’t changed so much in that aspect. In the past there was this influence of wanting people to be well strong in my lyrics, also those lyrics which could move people. However, today, within me there is only this question mark floating about, facing a certain way of thinking or having to think about a certain encounter. And when there is something I really have to think about (again and again), this is when it will be embedded into my lyrics.]
- Moreover, this is something that has become more real, too, hasn’t it?
[Yes it has. I came to just write about those things the way I think about them. I think, that doing it just like that, has become one of my weapons. It is not a weapon to trouble anyone; it is more like natural arming (for myself). This is also the case for my usual self.]
- So this has become like armor for the person Ruki?
[Yes. I can’t really separate Ruki and the person I normally am anymore. It would be weird to try and force those to apart, I think. However you would do it, this is just me and there is no reason to part this. Because I came to realize this, I am now able to write very supple lyrics. That’s pretty convenient.]
- Was there a time when Ruki and your usual self had been separated?
[I thought, I needed to make a difference between those two. I felt there must be a separation. However, Ruki has become to be just a nickname for my usual me. Therefore, Ruki is not going to change from my usual self there, after all we are the same person. I am just a single person like everyone else. Therefore, if anyone is telling me that Ruki has a certain professional attitude, I always wonder what they mean. Like [What do you mean? What’s a pro?]]
[…Like [What do you mean? What’s a pro?]]
- I see. So you haven’t thought about this as a professional, in that relation.
[Yes, yes. For me, I just like being in a band and making music and as such I am simply a band-man, like that. In that sense there is no awareness of this as a profession. Of course, for me being in a band has become work as well, but I really don’t want to think of it like that. Honestly, I’d really just like to be a band-man like that.]
- I understand. Until now, living as you are, have you experienced that at some point you have been saved by those song lyrics? Or maybe how they had a big influence on you?
[Ah, well, no that hasn’t happened. I have never thought about how lyrics might have saved me. Moreover, I think I am more the type who is pretty much the opposite and not expecting lyrics to contain any form of redemption, also I am more the one to like lyrics that don’t do that. (laughs) I really like lyrics I can thoroughly sink into a lot. This is the sort of charisma which I also like about Visual Kei, I think. It’s not completely normal and you can feel the charm of its underground-ness, like liking the bad side of yourself. (laughs) It feels good to think [Ah, I’m just a little evil like that]. (laughs) The lyrics are about my lonely self, which I can write and which are spitting out a bit of my insides. Isn’t this just a bit what Visual Kei feels like? A little like an illusion, whether this is the real world or whether this is a world of lies or, just one we don’t really know, like this? There is this mystery about how we seem to produce some kind of western image and yet we are completely Japanese, aren’t we?]
- Certainly. Of course there are specialties about Japanese Gothic-culture as well, but there are certainly a lot of bands, which insert western elements into their visual style. It is certainly a unique point how this mixture is created.
[It is. This is certainly very unique.]
- Yes, very much so. And in this relation it seems really uncertain, whether this is a world of lies or the world of our present.
[Yes. Well, within the Visual Kei scene there are certainly different types of bands, but I like those, which surprise me and those which challenge me with unseen things, those that have that certain atmosphere, the most. If I was to divide this into [light] and [dark], I’d say I prefer the darker ones. Among those Visual Kei bands there are also some which don’t have these underground elements and which are more the lighter type of a band. There are people who like them and I do understand why they come to like them even, however, personally, I don’t understand this kind of music. I don’t really understand why they concern themselves with Visual Kei on the one hand and yet are of the type to be so happy-go-lucky on the other with their music. However, it is not like I am against the kind of people who ask for that in music, and I see that it is necessary to have this kind of music and this kind of lyrics as well. Still, I don’t really understand it. I’ve said this before, but I think, there is a difference in making everyone happy with those lyrics or evoking emotion with them. I think it is hard to describe with words.]
- I understand, though. I think there are people who become happy by this positive way of thinking and being pushed into that direction. However, I’m not this type either, rather the opposite. I guess I am more the type to change through struggle and negativity. Maybe this is some evil spirit in heaven, but I prefer to think that not everything is good. (laughs)
[Ahahahahaha. Yes, yes. I understand. (laughs)]
- However, there is this one argument again, that it is also one of the things which are in fashion at some point. In this world it is one of the things which is popular at some point and when it’s becoming fashionable for the lager crowd.
[I think it’s certainly like that. Within the visual Kei scene this is something which can also be felt. When there are popular bands those people, who are imitating that style are increasing and they are going with that flow. If those bands however, get through with this until the very end, they will be something individual again, which I think is a good thing. Presumably this is how things are going as well. Honestly, I had been thinking about how this would be, as well. In case you really like something that much, I think it is good to do it persistently on the band’s side as well. On the other hand, when you are only an imitation and do this solely because it is in fashion, maybe because you think you will sell with it, it seems your inner most (self) isn’t connected to it. It will all end with only being an imitation and nothing more. It doesn’t matter how long you do it, it will never be individual. That’s what I think.]
- Yeah, it’s really like that. I think so. As of now, what is a live performance for you?
[A live? Well, it is similar to the feeling of going out to eat together. For me, this is a thing and a place we share just like that, I think. Something we enjoy together. It’s a place where we together are having fun. Like a club, or so.]
- Only the sound source is different?
[It’s because we are not just listening to the music in this case, and we are actively influencing the music in our playing. However, there is also the plus of “sight / being seen” at the live, and with these two [sight and sound / seeing and hearing], it is what we are leaving those people with, who are stepping along with us, I think.]
- A live is a place where people are led to feel certain things not only by their hearing. It is kind of bare and an instant which is only there at that time.
[It is. It can’t be remade with the same atmosphere. Impressions which are made there, are extremely strong.]
- Alright. So, I think I would like to talk a bit more about what the person Ruki is like on his insides. What do you think you are yourself?
[Just myself?]
- hehehehe (sniggers)
[Huh? What, what is it? (laughs) Why are you laughing? (laughs)]
- Nothing, really, I just though, that the way you said [Just myself?] was really manly. (laughs)
[Ahahahahaha. More like [I am a rather clumsy man…] (laughs) Ahahahahahaha. Well, I am…I am rather selfish. I am someone talking only by sensations/feelings. And I am not very good in maths either. (laughs) It’s all just from my own feelings. So from time to time, things I say are different (according to how I feel.) However, I am not saying things (differently) because I lied, after all, I think I am someone who is taking words to action. In that sense, I am really selfish.]
- So if you were a different person, would you like to be friends with Ruki-kun?
[I think, I would. (laughs) Well, I think it would be interesting. (laughs) Actually, I think the people I am good friends with these days are all a lot cooler than me. For me, I really can’t get a hang on people, who are not interesting.]
- So, how do you feel, who is an interesting person and who isn’t?
[For example, there are bands which seemed to have improved so much, however, actually, it’s just those people who have a real passion in their hearts. Somehow, I am really interested in people playing in bands, when they are making cool music, I am into them. I would really like to know who they really are then. Even if they might not make the music with their band I prefer, I am interested in those people with a certain atmosphere, someone who is part of the band and yet seems not to belong there. (laughs) I am drawn to those who really are themselves. I am not someone to be best buddies with everyone; I’d just want to be friends with the people I am interested in. Even if they might be someone who is changing regularly - I usually only make friends with people I am interested in.]
- Yeah, I totally understand.
[Even though they might be in a band, and as such we would be having a rivaling heart in that aspect - making it a little hard to be companions - for example me, SID’s Aki and Nightmares Hitsugi, we are always congratulating each other, when we get into the upper positions of the Oricon charts. By mail, mainly. (laughs) Somehow, it is a rather strange feeling, in which we just don’t fight, which I think is good. It’s the same with my sempais. Be it Kiyoharu-san, Glay’s Teru-san or Ryuichi-san – even when we talk there is so much logic in what they are saying and they are very gentle people. During live they are playing extremely aggressive rock music, but once you get face to face with then, there seem to be no heard edges to them and they are really nice people. Nonetheless, you can still feel the greatness of their abilities and I think that is just amazing.]
- Certainly. People with great abilities do not need to show their greatness more than that, as their natural self reveals this spirit and their face just like that. Even so, they can be still very gentle people. It’s not just a bluff put on. I think, that is what they really are. Do you think you want to be like that?
[Yes, I do, certainly. It’s something to always long for.]
- It seems like it. It’s something people would always try to gain. Anyway, I think you do know yourself the best, so what would be things you like or dislike about the way you are?
[There are (things I like and things I dislike about myself). (laughs) Something I REALLY dislike is how I am totally lazy sometimes.]
- Lazy???
[Yes, yes. (laughs) I’m pretty lazy. And it really doesn’t matter what things I am doing. At first I am really reluctant to do anything, basically. (laughs) I am someone who thinks of things as bothersome a lot and I am not really getting my ass up for things. It’s the same with lyrics, which I usually can’t write until last minute. It’s like I am boasting about that a bit even. (laughs) I usually write the lyrics not until the day before recording. (laughs) And because I am doing it like that a lot, I regret it afterwards. Like [It would have been so much better, if I had done it earlier… …] But the ignition wouldn’t go on. And then, how things are changing according to my mood. (laughs). However, despite those things I don’t like (about myself), there are actually things on the contrary, which I like. (laughs) There are also times, when I am pretty good with what I am like. More than getting something (first hand), (this applies to the times,) when I get a pictures drawn correctly and something just turned out really cool rather unexpectedly.]
- You are rather sensible towards things like that, aren’t you?
[I am. (laughs)]
- However, actually, this isn’t really anything you could do (consciously) just by getting things done.
[That’s right. I think the sensation of something is an important thing. Those things that are just suddenly floating in my head are very precious to me.]
- It is. Earlier, you already told us, that there really isn’t a difference between [Ruki] and the person you normally are, however, there is probably something great to being the vocalist anyway. Even among the members there have probably been people, who saw a big difference between your normal self and the person Ruki - after all, being able to use words like that and write lyrics is something great, isn’t it?
[It is, I think. Still as I said, I can’t just write about lies or imaginative things within my lyrics. It has to be about something real. Certainly I think that’s a big deal. Even I, if I wasn’t the vocalist, would have to set this apart (from who I am).]
- Yeah. Well, as Ruki of the Gazette, what would you like to be like.
[I just want to be myself completely/naturally. Even as I am saying this right now, I don’t change who I usually am. Occasionally, for example at the tour final (at Yoyogi) during the MCs I would just say things which I am not even aware of. Like I wouldn’t even remember, and just shout the things I felt at that place. Nonetheless, I believe that this feeling is a very important one, which I treasure a lot. Even if it was things I absolutely, normally wouldn’t have said and things which weren’t very nice, even, (laughs), it had been unaware like that. Still, there are no lies. As these things just leave my mouth like that, I believe this is truly from my heart.]
- I see. Is this a bit like a curse to you?
[Hmm…no, it isn’t. I am one to rather not count on prayers and god’s help.]
- Are you not incanting anything to ease any sort of stress?
[No, no I don’t (laughs) Still, there is this habit, that before a live, I would turn towards the stage and fold my hands together. That doesn’t mean though, that I am speaking any sort of a prayer, nor does it mean I am not going to possibly fail. I do lives badly quite a bit. ahahahaha]
- Ahahahaha!!!
[However, it might just last until the first song. If I am satisfied with the first song of a live, I can say, that it is going to be a rather good live overall.]
- That’s it.
[That’s it. (laughs)]
- If one gets excited too much about the live, one might fail at that point and then you can’t really go on better, can you? Then, what would be one of your motivations, where do you take them from? I think a great part of the motivation might come from the people (around you), even as you said, that some of them are very much like you, and yet they are complete opposites. So…if your partner was to be a woman, what kind of person and what of her features would get you interested?
[First of all, her face. (laughs)]
- Huh? (laughs)
[Huh? It’s not that? (laughs) Are you saying, the first thing about a woman you’d notice is not the face? (laughs)]
- Ahahahahaha. That’s pretty honest. (laughs)
[It is honest. (laughs) However, of course only by talking you will be able to know whether you can share the same sentiments, or get to know what her innermost (thoughts/feeling) are like. Nonetheless, it’s all starting with her face. (laughs) Ahahaha, however, as I am more of the person with a rather complicated home environment, I am looking ahead and working hard for thing and I am rather attracted to this kind of desperation and hard work.]
- You would like to protect someone, then?
[Nope. Rather the opposite.]
- hm?
[I am more the one to be completely under the woman’s thumb. (laughs) Therefore, I am not much of the protector-type. (laughs)]
- Isn’t that a bit of a contradiction? (laughs)
[It’s more of a reverse. (laughs) It’s more of an ideal, which I have. (laughs) Actually, though, a woman, who has to be dragged along like that, is a real no-go. Therefore it is better if she’s taking the lead then, and even though I might still protect her, I’d rather be lead by her. (laughs)]
- Ahahahahaha, so you really would like to be under such a woman’s thumb then?
[Yes, yes. I’d totally like that. (laughs) Saying this, though, it is impossible, if she’d want me to be totally attentive, when talking (and getting things unsaid). I’d hope she’d just tell me things really frankly. I like people with a rather bad character. (laughs) And women who have a strong character. For example, if I ever cheated on her, it had to be someone who be like [Oh really? Well, it can’t be helped… …] (laughs)]
- Ahahaha, because there is probably never a good opportunity to talk about it.
[Right. (laughs) Well, on the other hand, I also think that if there was a reason to be jealous and she wouldn’t be, that’s also bad. I think there is no need to overdo this kind of jealousy, still if there is a reason to be jealous and yet she isn’t, something’s wrong. [It’s not good if you can’t burn in the heat.] I’d say as Ruki. And as that is including myself, I say that, too.]
- Perfect! That’s a very good saying. It really is like that. [It’s not good if you can’t burn in the heat.]. That expression is very satisfying. Very artistic. It’s really a no-go, otherwise. I think because you have this kind of thinking, it is just natural, that you have such a natural, multicolored personality. You are very colorful as a person and I think that is very satisfying, too.
[Ahahahahaha, so I am a very colorful person? (laughs) Looking at myself, I can’t really comprehend that, though. (laughs)]
- Yes, yes. Well I guess that is something one can’t really grasp about oneself. (laughs)
- Yes, yes. Well I guess that is something one can’t really grasp about oneself. (laughs) But really, about your Lyrics, they are not fictional, are they?
[They are not. My lyrics are non-fiction – all of them*. Somehow, I just don’t want to add lies within my lyrics. I just want to say real/honest things. I am only human, so there are things which I want to hide, however, within my lyrics I don’t want to hide these things and just face them, I think. Doing that though, I would NOT go about such blunt/weird things as how I got stomach problems and diarrhea. (laughs) Anyway, in my lyrics, I really only want to use words without any lies to sing.] (*Ruki is refering to his current lyrics. He has said in previous interview,s that he started to write about things happening around him more clearly from around the time of [Filth in the Beauty]. He said that songs like [Cassis] or [Reila] could be regarded more as stories and occasions seen in a dream, even though they might have elements of things that happened around him during that time.)
- Lies are a sad thing, aren’t they?
[Yes. It is sad to lie, because in the end, when you lie, you won’t be able to understand yourself. Although, it seems, there are lies that need to be told in the world, too…]
- It seems like it… I think you are someone, who is facing yourself rather directly still, when you look back at yourself at the beginning of Gazette and at the person you are right now, where do you feel you have changed?
[I think my heart has broadened as such. I think by meeting so many different people, this is what has come to be. I have more freedom (to let myself be more open) concerning that. It seems, as I can continue being in a band, my viewpoint on things changed. Back in the days, the feeling of not wanting to lose against other bands, was extremely strong, still, now I’m not so challenged by that (feeling) anymore. Honestly, I think I would like our music to sell, but it won’t come to the point where I make music that sells. I think that is something that really changed. Good things are good and bad things are bad, that is just the distinction of it. There is no blurring this anymore. In a good way, I think I have become incredibly selfish (concerning that).]
- Have you gotten stronger?
[I have, in various aspects.]
- Have you gotten weaker also?
[No, there seems to be no part which has gotten weaker.]
- As a human being, when you are able to be more composed, you can also be nicer/more understanding with people also, can’t you?
[Yes, it must be like that. There are also things which I have settled with. I’ve gotten a lot better at controlling myself. In the past, if someone would yell at me, I would yell right back at them, but I am more able to control this now. Regarding to the case and the circumstances there are still times when I lose control, though. (laughs) I’ve not yet rounded that up completely. (laughs)]
- Well, but I think it’s also bad to lose one’s edges completely.
[I think so, too. However, in the past there have been quite a few edges to myself and I would just say things straight out (without thinking). I’ve really broken off a few things with that. Therefore, there had been a lot of judging by that, too.]
- For example?
[For example, I am someone who could never and still can’t understand the reasoning behind cutting oneself. Of course I understand how it is, when thinking there is no place to go and to be deeply troubled by not being able to do anything really. Still, I don’t understand the meaning of hurting oneself for that reason at all. I wrote about that in my blog once, it had been a really long entry, too. The reactions/opinions I got concerning those words about my objections (towards this), were pretty extreme. For me at that time, I had only written those things I thought, without lying. I had a lot of doubts concerning this. I am still addressing the things I have doubts about directly, but it seems that my way of saying them has changed from back in the days. In the past my wording would be like everything was just the same, but then, when people would get at me saying things like [What do YOU ever know about that?!] I would just get back at them with things like [Well, it’s not like I want to know either!].]
- Pretty strong…
[Probably. It is not the sort of strength, which is unnecessary, but fighting about things like that is of no use. That way, I came to think about these things eventually.]
- That’s all very difficult. Even as humans might feel the same kind of pain, one will never understand them 100% in their being, I think. You can’t just simply ask them to give their best like that anyway, either…
[Yes. It doesn’t matter whether you tell them you don’t want to know, or whether you tell them to be strong. There will always be people getting back at you with [What do you ever know anyway???] Nonetheless, I will always say honestly what I think about things I doubt, because I hope that people will stop cutting themselves, when I tell them, what I think. Therefore there is this harshness about it. It has happened that there are people who stopped due to that actually.]
- This is really difficult, because it is a very sensitive topic.
[Yes. However, having said this one thing really had been engraved into peoples’ hearts.]
- In that sense, compared to the past, have you become more careful about the words you are saying, then?
[Hmm…I don’t know whether I have become more careful with the things I am saying, I’d say I have come to think about the way I am saying them more. As I said, the way of my thinking hasn’t changed much, when comparing the past and now. If I have doubts about something, it’s the same as in the past and I am not saying things I don’t believe in, nor would I lie concerning my own feelings with the things I say. That hasn’t changed. Different things are different, and things which don’t match, won’t match. Certain expressions have a lot of power to influence things and I am not one to just talk according to appearance.]
- It is probably a special skill to reach a certain way of conveying things the way they are remembered.
[It must be. But I guess this is also one of the things I have grown to do.]
- It doesn’t mean though, that you are just up for a quarrel.
[Because usually, when you don’t think the way someone else does and say this straight out, you are certainly up for a quarrel. It’s not like that, however, thinking about conveying something and not reaching anything with it then, has no meaning, I came to think. I think I have grown up like that. Meeting different people, I have learned a lot about the way people are thinking, I believe. At least I could think so.]
- Yes, I understand. This is more of my personal opinion, but I myself, would get really disgusted by myself, when I was just complaining how miserable I was living.
[Ahahahahahaha]
- Like: [Well, how long are you planning on saying this? Who do you think is living in a good way then? What would actually be the thing to tell you you live properly?]
[Such as [I am such an awkward person…]…like Takura Ken-san. (laughs)]
- Ahahahahaha. Somehow I like that kind of roughness pretty much, though. (laughs) Making art out of one’s own awkwardness, well, but I am not saying that, it’s just himself. In that sense. Well, I do understand this kind of saying from young people and those who have not much experience in living, but when it comes to grown up people saying this without the effort of looking at themselves, I think it really has no meaning. For me, I can’t feel any sort of attraction towards them.
[Ahahahah, but I totally understand. I think the same thing. You shouldn’t say these things when you aren’t even making an effort, should you?]
- Yes yes! It can’t really be helped if the effort is not getting you anywhere. However, there might be a mistake in the angle from which you are looking at your own efforts then. Usually there is really no trick to it and I don’t think one hasn’t to live so far as to sell oneself like that, nor should one disguise one’s own way of living. When you think like that and chose your own way of an awkward living, then you should really say that straight out, I think.
[Ahahahahaha! Yes yes! (laughs) I totally understand. Really, I think so, too. (laughs) As I said before, this is probably the reason why I can’t really be interested / attracted to people who are not interesting. There are so many people in this world who are attempting good things, and on the other hand, there are certainly some unreasonable/outrageous things as well. Really, there are things you can only ask [WHY?]. I think, guys who are just living clumsily can’t really tell. This is just what I think, though. For me, even lying to myself like that would be absolutely impossible. However, I am able to spit all these thoughts out in my lyrics, all the weakness and all the helplessness. I think it is extremely important to look at that together with my own strength.]
- Being able to face these things through your lyrics might have rescued (someone). Speaking of which: I case you would not have your lyrics to write, what do you think you’d be doing instead?
[In case I didn’t have my lyrics to write, I’d probably write a lot in my blog. (laughs) However, that would probably be a world of one continuous monologue. (laughs)]
- Certainly. (laughs) Then, how to get out of it?
[Hmm…how to get out of it, then? It is more like spitting it out. I am not that patient. I think this is still bigger (than a blog).]
- I see. So what is Gazette to you then?
[Gazette is me. All of myself. And just that.]
- What would you do, if Gazette wasn’t there now?
[I think, I’d still be in a band. If I wasn’t supposed to be in a band…well, I can’t think of anything. (laughs) Actually, I think I wouldn’t really be able to just lead a normal life like that. (laughs)]
- Have you ever thought about what would happen, if Gazette was to break up and cease to exist?
[No, I haven’t. Gazette won’t break up. I won’t let it. Therefore, I haven’t thought about it.]
- So there is no imagination towards a break-up?
[There isn’t. (laughs)]
- And about going solo then?
[I can’t see it. (laughs) For our band, there really seems to be no image of going solo.]
- And are the other members thinking like that, too?
[They do. I know that they / I would do it for a single project, somehow, though, it would all end up to be the same as with the band.]
- Therefore, it wouldn’t have any meaning.
[It wouldn’t, yes.]
- From here on, what would you like Gazette to express?
[I think if we could keep on expressing, what we are these days, it would be a good thing. The songs and the topics might change and the things I say and would like to convey might differ, however, being able to eventually convey everything we are, is what I am thinking of. We don’t want to calm down either. We won’t change from who we are now or who we have been in the past, we will still be doing the things we want to do with all our edges. Still, I don’t think we will do anything extremely out of place for us.]
- That doesn’t mean though, that you lost your heart for progress, it just means, that you would like to express who you are in a very natural way, doesn’t it?
[It does, yes.]
- In that sense, what would you like Gazette to be taken as? Well, of course when it comes to being interpreted, there are decisions to be interpreted by, but just as yourself, what would you like Gazette to be taken in as?
[Just as people see us. I think it’s ok, just the way they see us. I don’t really want to insist on anything. If people don’t see us as rock musicians, then it doesn’t really matter if we are not seen as such. It really doesn’t matter as what people look at us. However, I think there is probably a part in us, which can be seen as rock musicians. I, myself think, that the Southern All Stars (for example) convey a very strong feeling of rock artists. On the other hand, they are certainly more of pop-musicians, with music, which is very easy to be listened to, I think. And even though they might be seen as a pop band, I think they have a very rocky feeling to themselves. People think about such things very individually. How they take people in. Therefore, I don’t insist on people looking at us in a certain way, they should just see us as what they like (about us).]
- So you leave it to them?
[Yes. Lately, I really don’t worry about what people say to me about such things anymore. I’m not upset about it. Now we will keep moving on anyway and that’s just it.]
- In the past, have there been times, when you wanted to show the band in a certain way and the band to be seen in that way, too? Like a really die-hard image?
[There was. Actually pretty strongly. It had been a pain to build up Gazette from what it had been in the past to what it is now in its style. Aaah...but well… we did it, even though there have been things to regret, too.]
- hm? That you did it?
[In truth, even as we have been walking towards this style of now, we had been thinking about a different route, there had been feelings of heading in a different direction. Well, this regret however has become an extremely great experience, when looking at it now and I think it wasn’t for nothing. Because that had been, I can think about it like that now. I think it was a good thing. I can feel the difference between winning and losing with music now. Well, even as I talk about winning and losing with music only, I think it was necessary to disclose a bit about myself in that aspect. And we will continue to do that, as music is for us the one thing we would like to convey things with and the one we are best at. I hope we can continue to bring these things we need to say across like that still. Also, this is call including goods and photo-books and photo shooting like this and just all of it, too. Including all of that, is what Gazette is.]
- Simply all of it.
[Yes. All of it is Gazette. Therefore, it isn’t even a problem if people like us because the photographs are cool. The pictures aren’t music, and even if they are the reason why we are thought to be cool, it is Gazette in the end. This just makes me purely happy, I think.]
- In the past, you wanted people to acknowledge your music in the first place?
[Yes, I did. At first that has probably it. Of course, even now this is the most important point, I think. However, we have become a bit more open towards that now. Well, if photographs and goods and interviews is what we are, we have enough self-esteem to face these things without lying and have come to think that these things are (parts of us), which are not music. Moreover, as I worked really hard on things like the CD jackets and (the concepts of) photo shootings, I really come to like them.]
- I see. Often something bands are clashing together with is, when they are regarded as idols, these days.
[Ah, well we did, too.]
- At the time, when you had been opposed towards being seen as an idol, what exactly had been the things you disliked, then?
[It must have been a misunderstanding on our part as well, but for us bands aren’t idols, and attached to that word [idol] had always been that certain image of [pretence/coquetry]. That had been at a time when we really didn’t want to play up to that, and being seen as that would have been terrible. However, when you can think of this idol image not just like that, you start to calm down about it. Honestly, right now there is no stress (concerning that), and we can just believe, that we are able to bring across, what we (really) think / believe in.]
- From now on, what would you like to do with Gazette?
[Good question, what would I like to do?]
- I there a place you’d want to play at?
[As for a certain place to play at, there really isn’t one. I’m just happy to be able to play lives at any place, really. Compared to the past, the places I wanted to play at really aren’t present (in my head) anymore. Well, this is probably not the answer I should give for Gazette, when speaking of what we would like to do from here on. However, I just think, if we ever come to make rock music, will there be a time, when we can sell, too?]
- In Japan it seems, rock music hasn’t rooted much yet. Yeah, that’s what I think.
[How could it be then? Moreover, I still think we haven’t surpassed out sempais yet, it seems. Also even our sempais have not settled at where they are yet. However, if any band is ever to surpass their sempais and just be people of the present, the Japanese rock scene will end, I think. To achieve that, what could we actually do as Gazette? What could we want to do? I think, just keeping that in mind and practicing towards that is just as good. This year I had been at Kuroyume’s last live and I thought it had been incredibly great. I really like that band and came to like them all over, I think. Even though it had been their last live, they didn’t really play any of their songs which sold well. This had been a really contradicting feel, as it seemed so removed from the usually sensations of being Japanese. I really liked it at that place, though and I was very happy, that I liked them all over again. At that time I really wanted to be Gazette a band being thought of just like that. This was a very good motivation. I really hope to be like that. I think this is being a rock musician - as a band and as a living]
- Then lastly, as Ruki, what do you want to be like?
[I don’t want to lie. Without lies and without compromise, without losing my hearing to the things around me, I think it is necessary for me to keep listening to people properly. I will try to listen in all cases necessary and live my fullest to the nerves, I think.]
Zdroj:https://kiniro-ageha.livejournal.com/12646.html
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