Matsumoto Hide - Memorial day

Druhého května, datum Hideho úmrtí a výročí, které se od toho dne slaví. Vyšlo úplnou náhodou, že jsme včera vkládali jeho medailonek, ale hezky to padlo a my jsme se rozhodli zavzpomínat tímto článkem jako velké spousty lidí po celé zeměkouli.

Čím to je, že Hide nebyl zapomenut a lidé pořád propadají lásce k němu, i když je tolik let po smrti? Těžko říct, ale mě si získal okamžitě od první fotky a prvního vystoupení a pak už se to vezlo. Jeho rysy tváře, humor, způsob, jakým se vyjadřoval nebo usmíval, to všechno má neskutečnou sílu a kouzlo a k tomu ten talent a to, jak se otiskl do hudebního průmyslu. Hide byl velmi výrazná osobnost, ale taky někdo s obrovským srdcem pro všechno, co dělal pro nemocné děti.

Něco z jeho příběhů jsem si dovolila vytáhnout z hlubin internetu a vložit do tohoto článku, i když je možné najít si to na mnoha jiných místech. Zejména dopis Mayuko mě velmi chytil za srdce. Hide získal status legendy a nadále ovlivňuje mladé lidi v Asii. Byl velmi specifický, měl kousavý smysl pro humor a uměl si dělat legraci ze všeho a ze všech, i když byl někde uvnitř nespokojený se světem kolem sebe. Dokonce i jeho hlas při zpěvu označovali za lehce sarkastický. Jeho cíl nebyl primárně šokovat, ale stejně si nedělal hlavu ani z cenzorů. Níže jsem vložila anglické znění jeho písně Pink Spider, která je označovaná ze jeho vyznání před smrtí. Může to tak být a nemusí, ale ta slova mají velkou sílu a podle mě z něj ukazují mnohé. Ve včerejším medailonku jsem toho o něm sesbírala dost a dost, nemá smysl se opakovat, ale…

We love you, Hide. I po těch letech. Nechápu proč to tak je, ale je. Sweet dreams.

Pink Spider

You spun a web of lies Thinking this small world was everything Hurting anything that came close You thought the sky was square "This is everything... after all, it's just like this, right?" you said, even that's a lie Your ornate pattern seemed lonely So a paradise bird spoke to you strangely: "Get the wings of a butterfly, and come this way Over beyond, everything's the way you've dreamed" Pink Spider, "I want to go!" Pink Spider, "I want wings..." Not listening to the pleas from a trapped butterfly, You glare at the sky "I didn't hurt you because I hate you I just don't have wings And because the sky is just too high" "You should use my wings, Spider Even you, who doesn't understand the pain of continuous flight

Will someday come to realise That you were only flying in someone else's hands And that you called it freedom, too" Unable to fly right with gifted wings, you crash down, headlong Pink Spider, "It's no good" Pink Spider, "Even though I can see the sky..." Pink Spider, "This is a mistake" Pink Spider, "I want wings..." Beyond the barely visible sky The birds head to the south "I'll fly one more time, Ripping away this web With my own jet When that cloud passes by" Pink Spider, The sky is calling for you Pink Spider, Pink Spider A pink cloud* flows through the sky

Yoshiki´s speech on Hide´s funeral:

"I'm very shocked to hear about his death. I still can't believe what has happened. Right now, he's sleeping with a beautiful face. I tried to wake him up many times, but he's still sleeping. Between the five of us, Hide was the one who kept his calm and thought out things. Even though I was the leader, he was the calm one who gave me good advice when I was being short tempered and emotional. Of course with all of that pressure, he too almost lost his identity. But during those hard times, he'd always give me a call. We would talk about X, music, friends, life, fans, almost anything. He was like an older to me and sometimes like a younger brother too. We'd drink together and sometimes fight. But the next day, he'd come to me and say, "Yoshiki, did I do something last night? I'm sorry, I don't remember a thing." But this time, he didn't say anything back to me, sleeping. To all fans and friends, you must all be confused. I too can not express this sadness in words. But we must understand that this is a reality. Everyone please watch over his eternal sleep warmly."

Mayuko about Hide:

"hide used to come and play with/see me very often, sometimes Yoshiki would come as well.

During one of their performances, hide gave me a front ticket, and asked the staff members to escort me backstage to his change room. He was afraid that the fans would squash me. I waited for him in his change room, he came in and took my hand. His hands were shaking, I think he was really excited. He then carried me on his back and ran around the entire backstage, kicking people's doors open and shouting "Yo! I have a friend to introduce to you".

When he kicked open Yoshiki's door, Yoshiki was dumbstruck with shock… Yoshiki hasn't even taken off his make-up yet.

Then afterwards, they decided to go drinking. Due to my health problem, I can't walk very fast. So, hide held my hand and walked very slowly with me. Soon enough, everyone started disappearing in front of us. Then, we saw a figure leaning against a wall in front of us. When we got near, we realized that it was Yoshiki. Yoshiki said "I've been waiting for you." Then he came over and took my other hand.

So the three of us slowly walked on. I was really happy to see Yoshiki waiting there, even though I knew he wasn't waiting for me.

I went to hide-san's funeral as well, I sat there and couldn't stop crying. Yoshiki came over and knelt down beside me.

Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, I knew that he was looking at me. I knew that he wanted to comfort me in some way so that I'd stop crying.

After a long while he finally said, "hide-ji is not here anymore, yoshiki-ni will stay with you."

I once again started crying non-stop, Yoshiki started crying as well. He looked really sad and heartbroken. It was the first time I've actually seen him cry, with no make-up, no barrier, he didn't even bother hiding it."

- Mayuko

Yoshiki about Hide:

It has been a year already.

Ever since that day, I've been thinking about those countless memories I've shared with hide. I thought about them, remembered them, and talked to hide about them. At that time, these precious memories will make me ache whenever I think about them. However, maybe it's because of the one year time, I find these things so warm in my memories. Talking and sharing about these things involving hide with his fans, a year ago, I'd never had thought it was possible. I'm still a little confused right now, and as of here, I'll pick those happy memories.

I'll think and try to tell everyone at the same time.

The first time I talked to hide, it was when he was still in Saber Tiger.

His band and X made this mix CD together, that was the first time I played drums for hide. Before that, I've seen a couple ofhide's performances, and thought:

"What unbelievable performance that was."

However, when we talked for the first time, I've only thought: 'His face looks totally different from when he was on stage.'

*laughs*
However, we only communicated to the minimum. The real talk started when X had a performance, and he came.
It was in some staircase, he said:

"I'm hide from Saber Tiger."

I was shocked, and said:

"Eh? really?"

His face was different once again. *laughs*

However, when did we become really close? I really don't remember. We became close friends unknowingly, and then, we started hanging out often. The first time hide and I performed together, I think it was probably on 'Explosion', at that time, I used to put fire in a pot. One day, the fire was too big, and the place was too small. All the audiences went out for safety, my face, hide's face, everyone's face was all black afterwards.

There are many mysteries revolving hide.

One mystery that still remains today is: for some unknown reason, hide would not like anyone see his top naked. When we were backstage, we usually hung out together, so how could we not see the top part? But, really, I've seen the bottom half, but really have never seen the top half. *laughs* He's always changing secretively in a corner somewhere.

"hide, do you have chest hair?"

Even though we were joking, but in a live, when Toshi would say 'take it off', hide would never take it off. He'd always say 'take it off', but he'd never do so himself. He really does follow his own rules. Even when we went swimming, he still has to wear a shirt. That scene is really weird and somewhat suspicious.

Talking about swimming, hide nearly drowned in my swimming pool at my LA house. *laughs*

hide was drunk and three roddy (some dude) into my swimming pool, and then, I threw hide into the swimming pool. My pool is actually quite deep.
And then, he would scream:

"I can't reach the bottom… I can't swim anymore…"

… and swim at the same time.
…. it was not really swimming, more like drowning….

Oh yes, also our 'food fight'.

hide always thought that if we go to a really expensive, high class restaurant, then everything will taste good there. The most important part is, his taste buds are a bit off. Whose taste bud is actually correct? There was once a magazine that used this question and went into a 'argument' state. hide's reasons was: if you mix together all these tasty food, then there' had to be no reason for them not to taste good! Even if it was kidney and tofu mixed together, which are in no relevance to each other, he'd still say it tastes good.

I say:

"That's really strange."

For example, I like to eat pudding and sea urchin, but they definitely wouldn't taste good mixed together. No matter how tasty the food is, if you eat it with something that doesn't have any relevance to eachother, it won't taste good.

Ah, but, after hide's drunk, he wouldn't know what he'd be eating, he'll just eat everything and anything. So… in the end, we don't know if hide is good at drinking or bad at drinking.
I think he wasn't that good. He would get drunk easily and then start destroying.

But, I'm the only one that could stop hide.
I'd always get our manager's call:

"Yoshiki, hide is going crazy again, please come over."

Then, I'd go over to where hide's drinking.

"hide-chan."

He would respond really quickly.

"Hai?"

And then he'd stop and ask me.

"Ah, what did I do?"

Not only is his taste bad, but his eyes are bad too, he always said:

"I can't drive in the night."

When we were in X, hide and I were the only ones that could drive. When we were still Indies, hide and I took our turns driving. But, he can't drive at night! But… when we're travelling from place to place, it's usually at night. Therefore, it was always me that drove, and we used to argue much over this topic. *laughs*

And then, there was this period of time where hide was crazy about his 'hat'.

I don't remember which concert, but after the live, we got back to our hotel, and the fire alarm went off.

"What happened?"

When I ran outside, hide was holding the fire extinguisher and yelling:

"My hat is missing!"

After that, I cared for hide's hat like I would for a musical instrument. Before a live, I'd ask:

"hide, is your hat with you?"

When we were in Shibuya once, I asked him:

"Where is your hat?"

"It's here. Oh yeah, let's make a song about hats."

And then he started singing:

"My hat, it's like this and like that…"

…and walked on at the same time.
Strange person.

That's right, there're endless things we could talk about. But if we continue like this, even a month wouldn't be enough. But, out of everything, the most vivid memories are still the ones that hide and me, and the members and the fans all shared. The memories are too beautiful, that's why it's even sadder. But, they gave me today the strength to live on every single day.

To those fans that created all these memories with us, and of course hide as well…

Thank you, really, thank you. /Yoshiki

Zdroj: https://visualioner.com; http://www.angelfire.com; pinterest.co.uk