10. prosince 2023

TETSUGAKU 36 : WEAK POINTS

 


– tetsu-san, please tell me your weak point.
[It’s probably that I’m short tempered. I get really rude. I think I’ve hurt a lot of people that way.]

– Let’s say you’re supposed to meet someone. How long are you willing to wait for the other person to show up?
[I don’t wait for anyone. I don’t know if I do it to others, too, but I absolutely despise being kept waiting. Either they come see me or I go see them. Sometimes I’ll arrange to meet up with someone, but its rare for me to do that.]

– Have you always been like that?
[I used to be even stricter when it came to time. Let’s see…… I’ve gotten more casual, haven’t I?]

– Casual? Perhaps a part of you has come to think “Well, whatever,” when it comes to these things?
[But I don’t think “Well, whatever.” Even though I think “This is bad,” I do things for speed when I’m going to be late. Normally, the only things I don’t rush with are washing my face and changing my clothes. So it takes me the same amount of time to do it regardless of whether I’m in a hurry or not (laughs).]

– Of course, arrangements to meet someone bring about a certain pressure.
[Meeting someone, deciding “Which day, what time,” and the like, always feels like work to me. Even if it’s arranging to have fun with friends on my own time. I don’t know how I’m going to be feeling on that day, at that time. By then, I might not even feel like going anymore, so I don’t make promises like that. Even if something sounds like fun on the day it’s being planned, I don’t know if I’m going to end up being in a depressed mood by the time that day comes around, so I really don’t want to make plans. It’s like I don’t want to keep too strict a schedule. I prefer something like “So call me on that day and we’ll see.” Or “I’m usually not working around that time, so call me and we’ll figure something out.”]

– Does that mean that cancelling at the last minute doesn’t suit your personality?
[Nah, sometimes I do bail out. Like “I’m sorry! I forgot!” (laughs). “I forgot” has got to be the worst thing I can say to a person. I’ve never talked about this before, but once I promised to go out for dinner with a friend, even going as far as making reservations in a restaurant, and then I completely forgot. I had dinner on my own, then after I finished, the phone rang, “Shit!” (laughs). I didn’t mention I’d eaten, I just said “Sorry! I forgot! Even though I made time for it!” or something like that.]

– (laughs) Yeah, that is pretty awful.
[It’s horrible. I’m so sloppy. From my public image, I seem like a strict, picky person don’t I? Well, since I’m a type A (1), I can’t say I’m not like that. But I’m sloppy. So much that it surprises people.]

– Although when it comes to work, you return to being strict, don’t you?
[Not really. It’s just that it often occurs to me that things would work better if I were strict about them. Lately, I’ve been thinking that I might be better off not being so strict. It’s not that I don’t want to be strict anymore, or that I’m being forced to change, but I really do think it would be better that way. Before, I followed “Hard on others, hard on oneself.” Lately, I’m going easier on others as well as on myself.]

– But isn’t that a good thing? Though it would be awful if you went “Hard on others, easy on oneself,” (laughs).
[You know, these thoughts I’ve had don’t really sound like they come from me, maybe someone’s been planting ideas in my head (laughs).]

– Ahahahaha. Do you have any others? Weak points. Even just things you aren’t good at.
[My social disposition. I’m rather shy, so I don’t often start talking to people of my own initiative. But if someone else talks to me first, I’ll talk quite freely. It might be a weak point. Just a little. But I like myself the way I am.]

– I see. So, how are you with things like horror?
[I like horror movies. I watch a lot of them. I used to make time to watch at least one horror movie every night. But then when L’Arc got started, I met hyde. He puts on a character, you know? Yet he likes horror movies even more than I do. Given how he acts, I hadn’t thought hyde could beat me that way; I didn’t think horror movies would appeal to him at all.]

– When you go to amusement parks, how much do you scream?
[I like screaming. I’m good at it. I think my record is riding the same roller coaster five times in a row. Isn’t it heart-pounding? Because it’s so much fun. When I was little, I really wasn’t afraid at all, but now that I’m older and wiser I’m a little scared.]

– Thinking “It might break!” “What if we get stuck?” and the like. But it’s OK if you scream. What else?
[…… Weak points…… Mentally, I don’t think I’m very strong. I’m easily hit. I fall for things easily, maybe, too.]

– Could that be why you’re the type to stay cooped up at home?
[I’ve always stayed cooped up at home, so that’s normal for me. I like being alone. I like being noisy with people, too, but I also like my solitude. I don’t dislike that aspect of myself. I’m not the type who can’t handle being alone. Sometimes I have more fun by myself.]

– If you’re weak, mentally, maybe you should work on toughening up……
[No, I wouldn’t say I’m “weak.” I think I’m just “not very strong.” I only said it so I’d have another answer to “What are your weak points?” Well, I guess I’m not very mentally strong, or something. I think this is the first time I’ve asked myself “Weak points? What are they?”]

– Interviewer : Honma Yuuko
Translated by Natalie Arnold

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