This is a translation of the talk with L’Arc~en~Ciel from the July 1, 2005 episode of Music Fighter. This translation was previously posted on Pieces. This is a revised version. As always with video clips, it is possible that I misheard something and thus mistranslated it. Enjoy!
Begin
After an introductory portion with the three hosts alone, L’Arc comes out.
First part : I want to get to know you better!!
With special feature : yukihiro talking!! Legendary!
First question : Is it true that ken has a dam fetish?
ken : Yeah, it’s true.
host 1 : What’s so intersting about them?
ken : They take about 30 years to make. Nothing else takes that long.
host : I see.
ken : They’re wonderful. (much laughing) Looking at them, it’s like looking at the pyramids.
host 2 : Do you take your dates to a dam?
ken : Well, I might have had one or two ‘dam dates’. (laughs) But, it’s not very dreamy to say “Let’s go to a dam.” Being with me is the dreamy part.
host 1 : The girls aren’t gonna want to go see a dam, though.
ken : We just go on a drive, and then happen to find a dam on the way.
host 2 : It’s not a coincidence; ken-san intentionally drives toward the dam!
ken : On purpose, yeah. (laughs)
Question : What are the other member’s fetishes?
Sign : tetsu-san has a tall building fetish.
tetsu : Well, I like how they rise, and I like the view.
host 1 : The way you can see soooo far from the top of one, right?
tetsu : Just for that, I took a private trip to Hong Kong.
Everyone : Whaaaat?
host 1: Just to see buildings?
tetsu : Yeah.
host : To look at buildings?!
tetsu : (laughing) Yeah.
host : One more time : TO LOOK AT BUILDINGS?!
(Much laughing)
host 2 : You took a plane to Hong Kong just for that?
tetsu : In Tokyo, they’re all so small.
hosts : What? Really? Tokyo?
tetsu : Compared to New York, or to Hong Kong, then yes.
host : You were always looking up, weren’t you?
tetsu : (nods)
hosts : You must have looked like a stupid kid.
(laughter)
Sign : hyde-san has a slope fetish.
hyde : They really excite me.
(lots of laughing)
Aoki : How come?
hyde : To censored and stuff.
(Lots more laughing)
hosts : Does anyone see you?
hyde : (nodding) That’s bad, really bad.
hyde: It takes a good slope. It’s OK if it goes straight up, but I’d rather have it wander off… (some laughter)
host : ?
hyde : So you can’t see the path. “I wonder what could be over there?”
host : I can’t imagine it at all…
hyde : I like a slope with lots of side paths. One that looks all scattered. So then I can turn around and peek. Slopes are good places for that. Just take a moment to (mimes peeking around the corner; much laughing ensues) Just like peeking at panties.
host : That’s not a good thing to tell people.
hyde : Well, normally, I think there’s too much of that going on. It’s got to be a common thing to do. (lots of laughing)
Hosts : Today’s guests are weird!
Hearts : Slopes! Buildings! Dams!
host : I’m scared to ask about the last one. (laughs)
Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The first! What’s his fetish?
Sign : yukihiro-san has a corner fetish.
yukihiro : Um, corners. It’s right angles I like. (laughter)
hosts: What’s that supposed to mean? Right angles…
yukihiro : I hate rounded tables.
Hosts : Like this one?
yukihiro : Corners have a nice tension to them. (laughing)
host: Tension?
yukihiro : If it’s more than 90 degrees, no good. It’s gotta be a 90 degree angle. Like “Wouldn’t it hurt to bump into that?” (laughter)
host : That’s tension? And you like that?
yukihiro : (nodding) Yeah, and… that makes up my lifestyle. (cracks up laughing)
host : yukihiro-san?
yukihiro : (laughing uncontrolably)
(The audience laughs and calls his name)
yukihiro : (still laughing)
Aoki : Wow, he talked and he laughed all by himself!
yukihiro : (still laughing)
Next topic!
Sign : hyde-san followed Shaolin kenbou.
hyde : I used to.
Host: Really?
hyde : (nods
host : You said “used to,” so how long ago was it?
hyde : Probably middle school.
(Note : I can’t translate the next part very well since I don’t understand the sport terms)
(Aoki asks if hyde reached something, possibly a level or rank?)
hyde : I passed.
host : Which way did you do your kata?
hyde : Both ways.
Host : You did kata?
hyde : (nods)
Audience : We wanna see <3 hyde : Morons! (laughter) host : You've forgetten it all by now, right? hyde : Yeah, and that's for the best. (laughing) host : You remember doing this move? (he does a silly move) hyde : Yeah, that's it. Other host : What kind of sports did everyone else do when they were students? tetsu : The go-home club. (laughing) host : So nothing. tetsu : But I ran home as fast as I could. (laughs) host : How come? tetsu : I had stuff to do. Aoki : Uh huh... tetsu : Like, I wanted to drink water! (more laughing) host : So what did you do once you got home? tetsu : I watched dramas, the afternoon reruns. (everyone laughs) Host : That's depressing! Really depressing! tetsu : I'm a depressing guy <3 (Everyone cracks up laughing) Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The second! He did sports? yukihiro : I was in track and field. host : You did all those athletics? yukihiro : I did. Host : What was your specialty? yukihiro : I was a sprinter. Host : The 100 meter? yukihiro : Yep. host : What's yout best time? yukihiro : About... 12 seconds. Hosts : That's fast! Must have worked out well for you. yukihiro : Actually they kicked me out. Cause I hated practise. (laughs) They'd have us run somewhere and back, but I thought that was such a pain. So I'd go halfway and hide in a mountain, then wait for everyone to come back and join them again. I did that a few times, till it fell apart. host : But with ten or so others around... It's a good strategy. yukihiro : (nods) Host : Can you still run like that? Or are you slow now? yukihiro : Probably (laughs). Host : That would be interesting. Having yukihiro-san show off his speed. Other host : WHERE'S THE CORNERS?!?! Next question : Is it true that yukihiro-san has a teacher's license? Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The third! He has a teaching license? yukihiro : That's not true. I don't have one. Aoki : Then where did the rumour come from? yukihiro : Well, I have done some tutoring, maybe people heard about that. Host : Ah, so you were a tutor. yukihiro : Yeah, just for a bit. Host : For what? yukihiro : English and math. Host : When you teach math, you run into corners, right? (Everyone laughs) Host : Like those problems with the triangles and figuring out the angles. Other host : "It's got tension <3" yukihiro : (laughs) Host : For more tension, work with squares. Four right angles! (Much laughter) Host : What were your best subjects? hyde : I hate them all!! (Lots of laughing) Host : You weren't good at any? hyde : I really hate all of them! Host : Since always? hyde : Absolutely. Aoki : Weren't there any subjects you liked? hyde : Only art. Host : Ah, so drawing and stuff. That's fun but look out for the corners! (more laughter) Don't you have any good memories of school? hyde : I wondered what use it would be when I grew up. Host : You could have learned to draw good corners. host : How about tetsu-san? tetsu : Physical health class! Host : You were a perverted middle schooler! tetsu : (laughs) I got hundreds on the tests! (Everyone laughs) Host : Pervert! I'd be embarassed to get a hundred on that. (more laughing) Host : What about ken-san? ken : My good subjects... Math and physics. Host : Woaah... Other host : yukihiro-san's eyes lit up! (everyone laughs) Hosts : Math?! Physics!? ANGLES?! Speed?! Host : This is going to be a reccuring joke. yukihiro : And I'm the butt of it... Next sign : Is it true that ken-san auditionned to be a voice actor in Doraemon? ken : I gave the audition a try. Host : Why? ken : It's on the same channel as Music Station, right? When I was there (At Asahi TV) I saw the flyer. And so I thought.. will I always have my guitar fingers? (laughing) Host : So it was a backup plan. And Doraemon is forever! ken : I talked about it a little, so the rumour got out. Host : Aahh.... Other host : But ken-san, your voice is very distinctive. Whose voice would you have done? ken : Doraemon of course!! (Everyone laughs) Aoki : You're totally wrong for that! Hosts : What kind of role model is that? Hosts : Which one of you was it who expressed shock when they changed the voice of Kazuo-kun? (Note : all Doraemon characters got new voices in March 2005) Audience : Who? Who? Host: Was it ken-san? ken : No, no it wasn't. tetsu : Was it me...? hyde : Wasn't me. Host : Wouldn't it make a good story if it was yukihiro-san? (Everyone laughs) Tales of yukihiro : the fourth! Is he comfortable with improvising? Host : So was it you? Were you shocked by that change? yukihiro : Yes, I was. (Much laughter and hillarity) The next part is about preparing spicy korean food since L'Arc is going to do a concert in Korea. They showed L'Arc the video of the one host being challenged to eat more and more hot sauce in the soup. Afterwards, they dared the members to try the sauce, so hyde did... hyde : (is about to eat a spoonfull) Hosts : Are you insane? Don't eat it like that! It's not like ice cream! This is spicy stuff! hyde : (takes a tiny nibble) (Everyone is looking at hyde) hyde : (eats more) Hosts : How is it? hyde : It's good. Could be spicier. (Everyone else tries some) Aoki : SO SPICY!! hyde-san, you're weird! Transcribed and translated by Natalie Arnold
Begin
After an introductory portion with the three hosts alone, L’Arc comes out.
First part : I want to get to know you better!!
With special feature : yukihiro talking!! Legendary!
First question : Is it true that ken has a dam fetish?
ken : Yeah, it’s true.
host 1 : What’s so intersting about them?
ken : They take about 30 years to make. Nothing else takes that long.
host : I see.
ken : They’re wonderful. (much laughing) Looking at them, it’s like looking at the pyramids.
host 2 : Do you take your dates to a dam?
ken : Well, I might have had one or two ‘dam dates’. (laughs) But, it’s not very dreamy to say “Let’s go to a dam.” Being with me is the dreamy part.
host 1 : The girls aren’t gonna want to go see a dam, though.
ken : We just go on a drive, and then happen to find a dam on the way.
host 2 : It’s not a coincidence; ken-san intentionally drives toward the dam!
ken : On purpose, yeah. (laughs)
Question : What are the other member’s fetishes?
Sign : tetsu-san has a tall building fetish.
tetsu : Well, I like how they rise, and I like the view.
host 1 : The way you can see soooo far from the top of one, right?
tetsu : Just for that, I took a private trip to Hong Kong.
Everyone : Whaaaat?
host 1: Just to see buildings?
tetsu : Yeah.
host : To look at buildings?!
tetsu : (laughing) Yeah.
host : One more time : TO LOOK AT BUILDINGS?!
(Much laughing)
host 2 : You took a plane to Hong Kong just for that?
tetsu : In Tokyo, they’re all so small.
hosts : What? Really? Tokyo?
tetsu : Compared to New York, or to Hong Kong, then yes.
host : You were always looking up, weren’t you?
tetsu : (nods)
hosts : You must have looked like a stupid kid.
(laughter)
Sign : hyde-san has a slope fetish.
hyde : They really excite me.
(lots of laughing)
Aoki : How come?
hyde : To censored and stuff.
(Lots more laughing)
hosts : Does anyone see you?
hyde : (nodding) That’s bad, really bad.
hyde: It takes a good slope. It’s OK if it goes straight up, but I’d rather have it wander off… (some laughter)
host : ?
hyde : So you can’t see the path. “I wonder what could be over there?”
host : I can’t imagine it at all…
hyde : I like a slope with lots of side paths. One that looks all scattered. So then I can turn around and peek. Slopes are good places for that. Just take a moment to (mimes peeking around the corner; much laughing ensues) Just like peeking at panties.
host : That’s not a good thing to tell people.
hyde : Well, normally, I think there’s too much of that going on. It’s got to be a common thing to do. (lots of laughing)
Hosts : Today’s guests are weird!
Hearts : Slopes! Buildings! Dams!
host : I’m scared to ask about the last one. (laughs)
Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The first! What’s his fetish?
Sign : yukihiro-san has a corner fetish.
yukihiro : Um, corners. It’s right angles I like. (laughter)
hosts: What’s that supposed to mean? Right angles…
yukihiro : I hate rounded tables.
Hosts : Like this one?
yukihiro : Corners have a nice tension to them. (laughing)
host: Tension?
yukihiro : If it’s more than 90 degrees, no good. It’s gotta be a 90 degree angle. Like “Wouldn’t it hurt to bump into that?” (laughter)
host : That’s tension? And you like that?
yukihiro : (nodding) Yeah, and… that makes up my lifestyle. (cracks up laughing)
host : yukihiro-san?
yukihiro : (laughing uncontrolably)
(The audience laughs and calls his name)
yukihiro : (still laughing)
Aoki : Wow, he talked and he laughed all by himself!
yukihiro : (still laughing)
Next topic!
Sign : hyde-san followed Shaolin kenbou.
hyde : I used to.
Host: Really?
hyde : (nods
host : You said “used to,” so how long ago was it?
hyde : Probably middle school.
(Note : I can’t translate the next part very well since I don’t understand the sport terms)
(Aoki asks if hyde reached something, possibly a level or rank?)
hyde : I passed.
host : Which way did you do your kata?
hyde : Both ways.
Host : You did kata?
hyde : (nods)
Audience : We wanna see <3 hyde : Morons! (laughter) host : You've forgetten it all by now, right? hyde : Yeah, and that's for the best. (laughing) host : You remember doing this move? (he does a silly move) hyde : Yeah, that's it. Other host : What kind of sports did everyone else do when they were students? tetsu : The go-home club. (laughing) host : So nothing. tetsu : But I ran home as fast as I could. (laughs) host : How come? tetsu : I had stuff to do. Aoki : Uh huh... tetsu : Like, I wanted to drink water! (more laughing) host : So what did you do once you got home? tetsu : I watched dramas, the afternoon reruns. (everyone laughs) Host : That's depressing! Really depressing! tetsu : I'm a depressing guy <3 (Everyone cracks up laughing) Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The second! He did sports? yukihiro : I was in track and field. host : You did all those athletics? yukihiro : I did. Host : What was your specialty? yukihiro : I was a sprinter. Host : The 100 meter? yukihiro : Yep. host : What's yout best time? yukihiro : About... 12 seconds. Hosts : That's fast! Must have worked out well for you. yukihiro : Actually they kicked me out. Cause I hated practise. (laughs) They'd have us run somewhere and back, but I thought that was such a pain. So I'd go halfway and hide in a mountain, then wait for everyone to come back and join them again. I did that a few times, till it fell apart. host : But with ten or so others around... It's a good strategy. yukihiro : (nods) Host : Can you still run like that? Or are you slow now? yukihiro : Probably (laughs). Host : That would be interesting. Having yukihiro-san show off his speed. Other host : WHERE'S THE CORNERS?!?! Next question : Is it true that yukihiro-san has a teacher's license? Screen : Tales of yukihiro : The third! He has a teaching license? yukihiro : That's not true. I don't have one. Aoki : Then where did the rumour come from? yukihiro : Well, I have done some tutoring, maybe people heard about that. Host : Ah, so you were a tutor. yukihiro : Yeah, just for a bit. Host : For what? yukihiro : English and math. Host : When you teach math, you run into corners, right? (Everyone laughs) Host : Like those problems with the triangles and figuring out the angles. Other host : "It's got tension <3" yukihiro : (laughs) Host : For more tension, work with squares. Four right angles! (Much laughter) Host : What were your best subjects? hyde : I hate them all!! (Lots of laughing) Host : You weren't good at any? hyde : I really hate all of them! Host : Since always? hyde : Absolutely. Aoki : Weren't there any subjects you liked? hyde : Only art. Host : Ah, so drawing and stuff. That's fun but look out for the corners! (more laughter) Don't you have any good memories of school? hyde : I wondered what use it would be when I grew up. Host : You could have learned to draw good corners. host : How about tetsu-san? tetsu : Physical health class! Host : You were a perverted middle schooler! tetsu : (laughs) I got hundreds on the tests! (Everyone laughs) Host : Pervert! I'd be embarassed to get a hundred on that. (more laughing) Host : What about ken-san? ken : My good subjects... Math and physics. Host : Woaah... Other host : yukihiro-san's eyes lit up! (everyone laughs) Hosts : Math?! Physics!? ANGLES?! Speed?! Host : This is going to be a reccuring joke. yukihiro : And I'm the butt of it... Next sign : Is it true that ken-san auditionned to be a voice actor in Doraemon? ken : I gave the audition a try. Host : Why? ken : It's on the same channel as Music Station, right? When I was there (At Asahi TV) I saw the flyer. And so I thought.. will I always have my guitar fingers? (laughing) Host : So it was a backup plan. And Doraemon is forever! ken : I talked about it a little, so the rumour got out. Host : Aahh.... Other host : But ken-san, your voice is very distinctive. Whose voice would you have done? ken : Doraemon of course!! (Everyone laughs) Aoki : You're totally wrong for that! Hosts : What kind of role model is that? Hosts : Which one of you was it who expressed shock when they changed the voice of Kazuo-kun? (Note : all Doraemon characters got new voices in March 2005) Audience : Who? Who? Host: Was it ken-san? ken : No, no it wasn't. tetsu : Was it me...? hyde : Wasn't me. Host : Wouldn't it make a good story if it was yukihiro-san? (Everyone laughs) Tales of yukihiro : the fourth! Is he comfortable with improvising? Host : So was it you? Were you shocked by that change? yukihiro : Yes, I was. (Much laughter and hillarity) The next part is about preparing spicy korean food since L'Arc is going to do a concert in Korea. They showed L'Arc the video of the one host being challenged to eat more and more hot sauce in the soup. Afterwards, they dared the members to try the sauce, so hyde did... hyde : (is about to eat a spoonfull) Hosts : Are you insane? Don't eat it like that! It's not like ice cream! This is spicy stuff! hyde : (takes a tiny nibble) (Everyone is looking at hyde) hyde : (eats more) Hosts : How is it? hyde : It's good. Could be spicier. (Everyone else tries some) Aoki : SO SPICY!! hyde-san, you're weird! Transcribed and translated by Natalie Arnold
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